Friday, April 06, 2007

Mars, Al Gore & The Conspiracy of Global Warming

If you have been keeping up with the PR circus known as Global Warming, then you have heard the latest rumblings from a lone wolf scientist by the name of Habibullo Abdussamatov, head of space research at St. Petersburg's Pulkovo Astronomical Observatory in Russia. He says that the sun is the cause of the warming of the earth as well as the simultaneous warming on Mars.

These lastest revelations have temporarily diverted our atttention away from the most serious theory to explain the warming of the earth's atmosphere. The sheer amount of raw hard data forming the foundation of this purely scientific theory is hard to ignore for any lover of true knowledge. It seems that man-made Carbon Dioxide emissions can be traced to a major non- stationary source upon the earth, a source large enough to effect the entire globe even though largely limited to the Western Hemishere. It also seems that data mined from the travel records of major airlines, university speaking itineraries as well as satellite infrared imagery have left scientists of the highest regard with no choice but to disclose the intial findings of the latest climate change study.

The warm issuance of such man made emissions has been closely linked to the geographic travel patterns of one Al Gore, former Vice President of the United States. Interestingly, the data heavily suggests the correlation between the political trajectory of the carreer of Mr Gore and the warming of the earth's atmosphere over the last 25 years, with alarming increases in recent warming activity also coinciding with the increase of Mr Gore's activity outside of the political realm. Needless to say, more study is needed, but the seriousness with which this theory has gained acceptance cannot be ignored by the general populace of any nation.

Which leads me back to the latest scientific crossing of swords regarding this hot issue. While the theory of Mr. Abdussamatov is hotly contested by many scientists, the data mentioned above is being ignored. I propose the following conspiracy theory:

  1. Since Mr. Abdussamatov is from Russia, he can't be trusted. He's obviously a part of a Communist plot by ex-KGB agent and present President of Russia, Vladimir Putin. Which means that;
  2. Al Gore and Putin (and others) are in league together. They are executing a well orchestrated plan to keep the world's population from knowing the real cause of global warming, not just here on Earth, but also on Mars. And this is where the real conspiracy comes in. The link between Earth and Mars is that;
  3. Mankind is already on the planet Mars. That's right! There are extensive colonies of Earth's citizens already planted on the Red planet as I write this blog entry. Lest you think I am attempting to connect the warming of Mars to the invasion of Earthlings, please settle down. This is where the data mentioned above comes into serious play. This data shows that;
  4. Al Gore has been Mars' most prestigious as well as most frequent visitor, making many secret trips known only to a select few. Which means that;
  5. All the current hoopla surrounding global warming, with its conflicting thoeries, is really a coverup of the fact that Al Gore is currently acting as an interplanetary Ambassador on behalf of the United Nations and Earth Goddess Gaia to Mars.

If you don't believe in conspiracies, don't worry. Not many do, including Rush Limbaugh. He says that anyone gullible enough to believe a political conspiracy is nothing more than a "KOOK." So you are in great company.

Just be glad I didn't reveal the part President George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and the War in Iraq plays in this grand scheme!

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